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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27551575">Rainy Mondays.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepyHamster/pseuds/SleepyHamster'>SleepyHamster</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Silent Hill (Video Game Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, James Sunderland x reader, Self Insert, Silent Hill - Freeform, Silent Hill 2, age gap, future smut, james Sunderland - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:14:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27551575</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepyHamster/pseuds/SleepyHamster</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of James x reader stories. First time writing so please be nice LOL. There is a lack of James love and so I want to fix that. 😆</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Sunderland x you, James Sunderland/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1. First meeting.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James laid helplessly on the floor, staring at the ceiling as he accepted his death. a human shape monster that seemed to be in a skin like cocoon had caught him off guard, having no form of self defense. This was it. This was the end. There was no finding his wife Mary. He fucked up. part of him knew it was pointless. Marry died. How could she write a letter to him from beyond the grave.</p><p>He cursed to himself, it was upset but almost happy he was finally going to die. That this never ending empty feeling he had would soon be gone. At least that’s what he had thought.</p><p>Bang!</p><p>James grabbed his side where the monster had attack him out, knowing he couldn’t be helped now as he was bleeding out. To his surprise he saw you, a small petite (y/hc) wielding a revolver. “Hey!, don’t move. I have bandages. I can help you, don’t be afraid.” You yelled out, your voice echoing in this large empty place. </p><p>“Huh?..” James squinted his eyes as tried to focus on you, only making out what he assumed was another human being, soon passing out. You felt pity, being only an 18 year old and saving what seemed to be some middle aged man. His face looked so tired, it was hard guessing his age. You gently worked at his wound, trying your best not to cause any pain. </p><p>You knew you couldn’t just leave him there, you had no clue when he would gain consciousness and you didn’t want this to all be in vain and him just get attacked again. You sat down above him and lifted him up the best you could to at least get his head to rest on your lap. </p><p>you stayed silent for the next nearly two hours, almost passing out yourself before hearing a soft groan from the blonde man beneath you. “Hey sleepy head, you gotta be careful next time.” You faked a smile, realizing you are being far too kind to a stranger you don’t know. Sudden fear in your chest he could only cause you harm. </p><p>“Hmm?.” Was all he said, his eyes met yours for a brief second. His eyes green, close to the ocean after a storm. Quickly looking away after realizing he was staring. He went to sit up but then instantly fell back down and cursed under his breath. “What.. what was that?” He questioned and looked away from you, embarrassed that he didn’t have the strength to sit up on his own. </p><p>“that thing?..” you pointed next to the both of you at the dead monster that had bleed out from the fatal gunshot. “It.. well. I don’t know what to call it. There’s quite a bit of them.” You brushed his hair to the side as his bangs looked quite silly and uneven to you. “Here, take this pistol, I have a knife. And this revolver if needed for something extra serious. I know how to handle myself, plus you look like the type of guy that knows how to use this.” You smiled once seeing the soft grin on his face.</p><p>“Thanks..” you helped him to sit up and kept hold of him. You didn’t know why you felt this way. It was weird. You’ve learned to not trust anybody whatsoever but you instantly felt different with him. “My name is (y/n).” You watched his face. Man was he awful at eye contact. “James.” His eyes still half opened from not being fully recovered. “James Sunderland.”</p><p>He leaned against you for support. You weren’t sure if he even knew he was doing so. “How did you find yourself here exactly? It’s not the most.. pleasant vacationing area” you tried to lighten the mood, pushing any intrusive thoughts you started to have about him. You /just/ met him. How can you possibly have some sort of crush? </p><p>“I got a letter from my wife.” Your heart instantly sunk as he started to speak. mentally hurting yourself for crushing on a guy for two seconds before finding out he is married. “I don’t know how. She died a few years ago. But she said she would meet me here. I have to keep going.” His eyes were dark, the bags under his eyes indicated he hasn’t slept well in weeks. </p><p>“Oh? What does she look like? I can help!” You looked up at him, not minding he wouldn’t look back. You wanted to soak up every second you had this close to him. You weren’t sure if it was because you haven’t seen a man in months or if you truly liked him in some type of way too fast way. </p><p>“Dark shoulder length hair, sick.. skinny.. dead.” He stared off at nothing, his voice hardly audible. Your eyebrows furrowed, he was obviously depressed and lonely. There’s no way his dead wife could send him a letter or even say hello to begin with. You wanted to tell him to just go back home, he is wasting his time. But you simply couldn’t find it in you to do so.</p><p>“Hey, lets go to my apartment so you can rest up and we will get started first thing in the morning.” You gentle nudged him and have him a look of false reassurance. “What kind of small girl invites someone like me to their place?” He looked a you, well. Kinda. He faced your direction but was more so looking at your lap. </p><p>“An overly empathic one. Now come on.” You help him stand up and finding yourself holding his hand. “Away from the hospital and to my house~! Errr apaaartment!” You sang cheerfully. Being stuck here didn’t  bother you. You weren’t sure how your once peaceful town turned this way but you accepted it. </p><p>Once arriving to your apartment you yelled at the new male to take off his shoes before walking on the carpet. He looked puzzled. The apartment was ran down as though it has been abandoned for years. The wallpaper peeling off and the sofa torn up. It’s like there was a black and white filter on. “You’ll be safe here. The monsters are too dumb to open the doors” you said as you walked to your room, motioning for him to follow.</p><p>“Don’t worry about getting blood on my blanket. I’ve done it plenty of times myself.” You leaned against the wall with your arms crossed as he followed you into your small studio apartment room. “You sure this okay? I can look for somewhere else. It’s not your job to look after me.” he said while putting the pistol you gave him on the bedside table.</p><p>You nodded your hand and hummed a small “mmhmm”. He looked as though he was mad by your over trusting behavior. “Alright..” he winched at the amount of pain he was in, sitting down at the edge of your bed. “I don’t have much to offer but.. I want to help you look for your wife.” You said gently as James was busy shaking his head at the fact your comforter was my little pony themed. </p><p>“Why are you doing all this?” He questioned as he laid on his back, hand grabbing his side. “I think you’re cool looking.” Was your simple answer as you walked to your bed and sat at the edge, kicking your legs back and forth as they hanged off the bed. </p><p>James closed his eyes, his breathing uneven and caused you to worry. Turning yourself over and scooting closer to him. “Hey, I’m here. Okay?” You looked at him, as though you’ve known him forever and it caused you pain to see him like this. injured and depressed. You could tell he had little motivation to do anything. </p><p>“I’ll protect you.” You leaned forward, leaving a very fast forward pushing it kiss on his cheek. He didn’t respond, he just gently touched the area where you kissed. “Do you always kiss strangers like this?” He asked, joking as though he was your dad. “I’ve never kissed a boy before. Or anyone.” You said as you tried to make the flat dull pillow more comfortable for him.</p><p>“You’re very strange, you know that?” He looked at you for only half a second before looking away once again. “Really? Me caring for you is the strangest thing here? Not demon monsters crawling around?” You jokes and sat next to him as he laid down, your arm around his shoulder and brushing your hand through his hair.</p><p>“I have a wife you know” he said and for the first time, you actually heard him laugh. It was cute. It brought you joy to see him smile even if it was only for a brief few seconds. “you really never kissed anybody before?” He questioned, nodding off as he tried his best to stay awake but was failing miserably. “Nope. I’ve never even been in a date before. Well. I went on a walk while a monster was stalking me if that counts..” you said completely seriously as you never had a romantic interest. was that why you were being so easy and straight forward with him? were you deprived of any interaction with a human, non flesh eating male?</p><p>“How old are you anyways? You know how to handle yourself well.” James mumbled at this point and rested his head against your chest. “18, almost 19.. well at least I think. I’ve lost count of days.” Your fingers brushing through his shortish blonde hair. It was soft and you couldn’t help but continuing to play with it. </p><p>“impressive. I’m 29.. old, a boomer. maybe I’m a creep for being in bed with yeww..” he slurred, his eyelids shutting down. You felt your heart beat suddenly changed. you reminded yourself over and over again that he is the first adult male you’ve met in ages and you will find a single man and he will love you and that you are more than likely just overly excited.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter: 2 <3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>&lt;3 small disclaimer that I do not own Silent Hill this is written just out of boredom and my undying childhood crush on James.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few hours had passed and without meaning to you found yourself drifting on and off to sleep. slowly opening your eyes as you felt James stir around some under the blanket, nuzzling against your chest he hummed so happily, the cutest most soft “mmm~!” Escaped from his lips. </p><p>“Mary?” James asked, his voice dry and scratchy, barely audible. He propped himself up on his elbows and realized what he had just said, his face that of a kid that just got caught stealing a candy bar. “Sh-,, I’m so sorry. I just thought you were..” he paused and sighed in annoyance at himself. “Shh.” You pressed a finger to his thin lips and gave a soft smile to the embarrassed awkward man. “It’s okay, we’ll find her. Promise.” You held your hand out, your fist close except for your pinky. “Pinky promise it.” James lips curled into a small sheepish smile and accepted your pinky promise proposal. </p><p>James watched you curiously, unsure why you were so caring towards him and not weary at all, only selfless and almost devoted it seemed like. Devoted to him. something he wasn’t used to as his marriage with Mary was very 50/50, she wasn’t exactly the submissive type and tended to be a bit bossy at most times. “Now..” you tapped your chin and leaned your head against his shoulder, the both of you still comfortably cuddled next to each other in bed. “Where should we look first...” you asked out loud, thinking to yourself. </p><p>“She said she’ll meet me at our “special place” but.. I’m not sure where that is.” He laid his head back against your pillows and stared at the paint pattern on the ceiling. he had his right arm wrapped around under your waist and rather he knew he was or not, his hand was softly rubbing up and down your side, making it hard to think straight. “Focus, focus. Mary doesn’t deserve being cheated on.” You repeated to yourself mentally and wanted to hit your head against your pillow. “I’m at a lost. part of me...” he paused and turn to lay on his side, now facing you. “Part of me doubts she is even here and it’s just some cruel joke.” His eyes were dark, tired like no matter how much rest he got it wouldn’t get better. this was something sleep couldn’t fix, maybe not even proscribed medication. He was broken and you wanted to fix him but you knew it wasn’t your place or job to do so.</p><p>“Maybe the world wants me like this.” He said in a low voice and you could tell he was on the verge of tears, trying his best to hold them back. “I don’t want you like this.” You blurted out. “(Y/n).. you’re really something else.” He gave a soft mostly fake smile but that look of self hatred and guilt didn’t leave his eyes. then rested his head on your chest. His breath was warm against your exposed skin that wasn’t covered by your tank top. His hand slipped under your tank top and was rubbing small circles with his thumb against your side. “(Y/n).” He continued, closing his eyes and you became unsure if he was falling back asleep.</p><p>“Stay with me.” He murmured. You felt warm liquid fall from his eyes and onto your chest. He couldn’t hold the pain he has held for far too long anymore. It was long overdue but you didn’t mind a single bit, your mind was mainly on comforting him but also part of your mind was focusing on the feeling he was giving you in your stomach. “Of course.” You replied as you softly rubbed at his back over his grey blood splattered shirt. and that was that, the two of you stayed silent for a bit as he held onto you and tried to settle his sobs. He felt defeated, he knew if it wasn’t for such a random lucky encounter with you he would have done something dumb to himself by now. </p><p>“I’m not leaving. I’m here as long as you want me to be.” You spoke softly to James as he was trying his best to recompose himself. It was quite odd seeing a grown man in such a state but it didn’t make you think differently of him. James nodded his head in response, rubbing his face against your chest while doing so. “It’s okay, pink promise, remember? I’m here...” You reassured him, closing your eyes and smiling as you felt him massage at your side again, making his way down to your hips. He knew exactly what he was doing, he felt gross but there was this urge he didn’t want to resist anymore. to let himself give into lust and want, want of you. thinking of your face screw up from underneath him as he was taking away what seemed to be left of your innocence. he wasn’t happy about it but it took his mind off of the things he seemingly till now couldn’t escape from. </p><p>“James.. your wife, we should go get ready to look for her-“ your made a light squeal once he slid his hand up from your waist to your breast, grabbing you roughly at first then letting go of his tight grasp on you, softly pushing his fingers against your chest. “Yea.. probably should.” He sighed against your collar bone and softly left small kisses along your shoulder, his hand not leaving its place on your chest. You were disgusted in yourself for letting him touch you despite the age gap and knowing he was married, but tried to justify it as he wasn’t in the mood he was in just awhile ago. Or maybe he was. Maybe he was making his own mood worse by giving into this. </p><p>You tilted your head to the right, giving him easier access to your neck and squirmed underneath him as his left hand slipped under your skirt and was already eagerly rubbing over your clothed sex. “Ja-James. We really shouldn’t, not right now-“ you tried to say but it was clear to see you wanted it as well, grinding your hips against his hand on your crotch. he stayed quiet for a moment but continued brushing his thumb against your panties. “I know. I’m sorry.” he softly let go of you and sat up, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry. I’m just... there’s no excuse.” He took a deep breath in and you knew he was about to ramble in over apologizing so you took this moment to lean in and give him a quick kiss on the lips, shutting him up.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it.” You smiled at him but he failed to make any eye contact back, he was more than likely still thinking about you kissing him. “Now, before we start let me check your side, okay?” You sat up to walk to the bathroom to retrieve bandages and a damp cloth. James moved so he was now sitting on the edge of the bed, watching you with curiosity still not understanding why you’re so sweet to him. “Are you in much pain now, darling?” you questioned while getting the sink to the right temperature before wetting the cloth. “Da... darling.” James whispered to himself and smiled at the pet name before sitting up and making his way to you in the bathroom. </p><p>“I would be lying if I said no.” He gave a nervous fake smile, not wanting to worry you. God, he was awful at playing it off. “James.. you’re a handful, how does Mary put up with you?” You teased at him as he lifted his shirt up enough for you to remove the bandages you had applied to him earlier, trying your best to be gentle with him. “Ha, she didn’t really-“ he let out a small grunt once you dabbed around his wound with the wet cloth. “She.. I think she at times wishes she didn’t marry me, I seem to only bother her..” James said in a more serious voice as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back, you nearly done with applying new bandages on him.</p><p>“Well..” you paused and sat up to wash your hands “I mean no disrespect to her but.. it’s sad she doesn’t realize how lucky she is.” The last part of your sentence hardly being audible. James looked at you kinda dumbfounded but shrugged it off, he had to stop coming on to an 18 year old he’d only just met. “I’m going to change and then I’m ready, okay?” You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed yourself against him, smiling warmly and giving him a small peck on the cheek before letting go of him and skipping off to your bedroom closet. </p><p>“Huh..” James blinked a few times and realized he had no clue where he was going or what to do. he awkwardly went back to the kitchen and grabbed his coat off of the chair it was hanging on, putting it on and grabbing the map out of the coat pocket and staring at it blankly until hearing your foot steps. “That was quick.” He gave a soft smile as he looked over what you were wearing. An oversized Metallica hoodie with a dark red plaid pleated skirt. “Ready steady?” He asked and you responded with a nod. “Alright.” </p><p>The two of you made your way out of your apartment door and started on your journey to find James wife, it was going to hurt, it was already killing you but you just wanted to see him be happy. It was worth the hurt.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>James being his usual messy self.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Walking down the ran down decaying apartment hallway you watched your new friend curiously as he held your hand in his left hand and was holding up his map of Silent Hill in his right. “Hey James?” You asked softly as you were swaying your guy’s hands back and forth. “Yeah?” He responded but kept his sight on the map. “Your jacket, were you in Vietnam?” You curiously looking up and down his jacket before meeting his eyes to see him laughing. </p><p>“HA, no, no.” He shook his head and let go of your hand to fold his map up and putting it away in his back pant pocket. “I’m old but not /that/ old.” He grinned and grabbed ahold of your hand and left a kiss on the top of your head. You looked embarrassed and avoided looking in his direction, staring at the ground instead to hide your cherry red face. He opened the entrance to the apartment door for you. “I was in the army for a bit. But once my wife got sick I just.. got dishonorable discharged and just worked retail. cool, right?” The last part was sarcastic as he felt being a clerk at the supermarket wasn’t the most impressive thing to you. </p><p>You nodded your head and finally looked back over to him smiling. “Mmhmm! you kept a job to support Mary, that’s pretty cool to me.” You said as you leaned your head against his upper arm, humming happily as the two of you walked down the sidewalk. it was dark despite it being only 2 PM. “Let’s head to the park by the lake, not the amusement park, but you know the.. the place.” James mumbled embarrassed at not remembering the name of the park despite just looking at the map. “Ay, Captain.” You giggled until seeing some type of  monster in the distance. It was weird, it was like two bottom halves of a body stacked on top of each other. </p><p>“.. what.. in the..” James squinted his eyes and stared in complete confusion at the human height torso monster. “Hey,, (y/n).. stay here. I’m not willing to put you in danger when-“ he paused, eyes widening in surprise as you willing rushed past him to take out whatever that thing was before it came any closer to James. Sure, he was in the army, but... you felt as though self defense wasn’t his best trait. You pulled out your small pocket knife from your Metallica hoodie pocket and stabbed whatever the thing was in its center, causing it to fall over. James was screaming in panic, rushing to you and nearly knocking you over as he pulled you into a hug, stopping you from kicking the monster on the street’s ground. </p><p>“Stop, I’m not letting you be so reckless. I’m not.. I’m not losing you.” He kept his left arm wrapped around your waist as he used his right hand to grab the gun from his jacket pocket and shot one round at the monster causing it to fall limp and stop any kind of movement. You wanted to tell him you’ve lived here for so long it wasn’t anything new to you, but you also knew he was just being protective. Deciding not to protest against his action you just nodded your head and turned in his arms enough to hug him. “I’m sorry.” You could hear his heartbeat as you rest your head against his chest. It was beating hard and fast and he was visually shaken up.</p><p>“You saved me once, let me take care of things from now on, ok?” He softly let go of the grip around your waist as he lifted your chin up so you were looking at him. “I’m not letting you risk getting hurt.” He said much softer before leaning down to kiss you. It was hard to do anything other than melt into his kiss, kissing him back and grabbing at his jacket before the both of you were startled by a new voice. “Hey, I’m telling Mary. You... you Jerk face!” The small girl, way too small to be here alone, screamed at James with a finger pointed at him. She was at least 30 feet away but close enough to see what you two were doing. James instantly let go of you, seemingly forgetting he wanted to protect you as he left you alone, chasing after the girl.</p><p>“What do you know about Mary? How do you know? Hey, wait!” He continued chasing after her down the street. “So much for protecting me..” you said under your breath as you kneeled down to retrieve your knife back. You had taken care of another torso double bottom half monster as you made your way to James. He was bent over and trying to catch his breath, his forehead drenched with sweat. “James!” You yelled, not mad, not happy, just wanting to warn him as you approached him. “What happened to that little girl?” You softly rubbed at his back, wanting to calm him down as he was borderline hyperventilating. </p><p>“She just ran off, she was too fast for me and called me quite a view not nice names.” He sighed and turned to look at you apologetically. Well. Kinda. He was facing your direction but he wasn’t looking at you. “I.. don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry. It was just the first clue I had of Mary and I.. there’s no.. excuse.” He rubbed at his forehead before finally looking at your face, his eyes focused on your lips. “I .. I’m ..” he just went mute. He wasn’t stable. You had a crush on an emotional mess of a man. “It’s ok, I would have done the same.” You lied. You continued rubbing at his back as he leaned his forehead against yours. “It won’t happen again. I won’t let it.” And just like that he was suddenly calm again and not the emotional worrying cluster he was only two seconds ago.</p><p>“James.. I’m not the reason you’re here. Let’s.. just.. stop whatever we were doing. Mary is what you should be focusing on.” You said sternly and tried putting on your best poker face. It hurt. It physically hurt to say. You wanted him for yourself but you saw that he obviously still cared for her enough to just walk up and leave you there. “I..” he stuttered before slowly nodding his head, “right..” the two of you made a few steps forward but he had already went back to holding your hand. Again, a few more steps and then he stopped his movements. <br/>“Actually.. no.” He shook his head , his voice more serious and shaky than usual. “I just want Mary to be safe. I.. moved on. Maybe that’s bad. Maybe I’m bad. But.. I don’t think I want to .. be with her like that.. what am I saying?” He sighed in frustration at himself. This was worrying. His mood was switching rapidly far too fast you didn’t know how to exactly handle or respond to it.</p><p> You knew what he should do. You knew he was making the wrong choice and all together was wrong with everything he said. But part of you was glad. “Am I taking advantage of this man?..” you mentally thought to yourself as you watched his face. “He.. he isn’t .. all put together .. but he has been through a lot.. so have I..” you thought and sighed yourself as you grabbed both of his hands and did what your brain told you to do even though your heart thought differently. Standing on your tippy toes you kissed him once again and he instantly kissed back. </p><p>Cupping either side of your face with his hands and continuing the kiss. You went to try and speak but he only took that opportunity to slide his tongue in your mouth. You made a small noise of.. excitement? it was new. It was nice. But he was using you as an unhealthy coping skill. you open your mouth a tiny bit more so it was easier for him. You licked at his tongue and that alone made him shiver. he sighed but it was.. a happy sigh? similar to the sound you had just made yourself. That continued for a few more seconds before he slowly parted ways with your mouth and was breathing a tiny bit heavy. His face was flushed and he had the cutest smile on his face. </p><p>This was wrong. He is just sex deprived and he’s abusing your trust and feelings towards him. It didn’t feel right. You knew what you both were doing would hurt both sides of the party in the end. But it was nice. This new attention, and attention from a handsome man non the less, was much wanted from you. “Let’s.. “ he closed his eyes as you began to speak, feeling your breath against him was enough to make him want to kiss you again. “Let’s uh..” You continued. “Go to the park.. and if she’s not there.. maybe... go back to my apartment and continue this morning?..” he nodded his head fast and smiled happier than you’ve ever seen him yet.</p><p>“Yes.” He nuzzled his nose against yours before softly interlocking his fingers with you as you two made your way to the park. “Let’s enjoy this while it lasts. He’ll leave but the hurt is already done, I accepted he won’t be mine in the end but for now.. he is.” You mentally told your self as you let go of his hand to hug his arm instead. “To the park.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’ll add Eddie sooner or later, I just despise him and don’t look forward to writing his parts 😆😆</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4: A Way to the Park.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for being so absent, I have been in and out of the hospital due to my epilepsy but I’m getting better and promise to update more often. 🖤</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was oddly peaceful and quiet on the way to the park near the lake. Only seeing a monster or two and managing to not be spotted by them. You couldn’t help but find yourself looking at James, admiring him, doting on just how lovely he was you forgot you were even irritated with him only an hour ago or so. </p><p>James would meet your (y/ec) eyes for a split second before instantly turning his head the opposite direction of you. Here he was, next to someone he always dreamt of. Young, full of life, energetic and kind. Soft, yet stronger than any one else he has ever met. The type of girl he never imagined getting attention from, the girl he knew was out of his league. </p><p>And he questioned why he was even bothering to look for his /dead/ wife out of all people when he was right next to what he has always wanted. Why not just be with you? So caught up in his own thoughts he nearly tripped over his own feet, catching himself in time and laughing nervously. and then it happened, his eyes met yours and his heart skipped a beat, he needed you. The look of concern in your eyes was nothing but love to him. It was new but he knew he wanted more of it. “Guess I need to pay more attention, huh?” He laughed under his breath and gave your hand a light squeeze in reassurance that he was alright.</p><p>“Heh, it happens. I’ll protect you from anything, even your own body falling over.” You giggled and gave his arm a hug. He closed his eyes and felt his lips form into a smile. “I’m here for you, okay?” You said softly, but in a serious voice. “I’m not leaving until you want me to...” you stayed quiet but lit up once hearing James respond after a moment. “I don’t want you to ever leave. I mean.. I.. ugh.” He used his free hand to run his fingers through his hair as he sighed in frustration.</p><p>“It’s ok. I know. Let’s keep looking for her.” you stood up on your tippy toes to give his cheek a delicate kiss. That was all he needed. To be reminded why he was here in the first place, he needed to keep his head focused and not keep letting himself get in these moods of giving up. you knew you loved him already, but you also knew he may not understand his emotions all too well. there was the possibility that you were just a rebound for him and that you’ll just get thrown away once he found happiness in life again. Happiness without you.</p><p>“You’re a strange one, you know?” James chuckled and gave your side a gentle nudge. “Going around with a strange old man.” He laughed a bit more and smiled once seeing your face light up some at him picking fun at himself. “Mmhmm. So old. What’s your jacket from? World War II?” You stuck your tongue out at him playfully and giggled. James shook his head and smiled to himself at your comment. You knew how to cheer him up. You got used to his sudden episodes of what seemed like a mix of low self esteem and Mayhaps some mania. </p><p>“I’m so old that they didn’t even have cellphones when I was your age. Geez, now I am feeling old.” James said and thought how ten years didnt seem that big of an age gap. but once thinking of all the small things such as cellphones and dvds he started getting upset at himself feeling as though he is wasting his life. You hummed happily and walked with a skip in your step responding to the slightly unstable man next to you, “I wouldn’t want you any other way. My cute old man. Cute grandpa. Sexy grandpa even.”</p><p>You laughed to the point a small geeky snort escaped from you which caused James to laugh nearly as much as you. “Okay, Miss Piggy.” He booped your nose and smiled down at you. “Okay, Kermit the Veteran frog.” You teased back with a mischievous smile. it was nice. You hadn’t seen him this comfortable and what you hoped to be happy since you’ve met him. His laugh was your favorite sound. maybe it was cheesy but to you it made your heart skip a beat and feel butterflies in your stomach.</p><p>“And we have arrived!” You said as you let go of his hand and stepped a few feet ahead of him next to the park entrance gate. spinning around on your heel with your arms held up excitedly. “May I offer a most intimate personal guide?” You bowed and tried to keep a straight face. “By yours truly of course.” You glanced up at him. He was facepalming and shaking his head, giggling at your attempt of a french accent. “I would be honored, my fine Lady.” He walked towards you and pulled you into a frontal hug.</p><p>Your body naturally relaxed as you felt your bodies gently pressed together. “Hey, hey.. maybe skip the guide and just stay like this.” You laughed under your breath and blushed some as he nuzzled his face against the crook of your neck. His breath was warm compared to the cool misty air near the lake. You wrapped your arms around him in a full embrace, accepting him. All of him. You wished it could stay this way but you knew it wouldn’t be much longer before he found something new to stress over. Or worse. Find Mary.</p><p>Your stomach turned at that thought, it was awful. You secretly wished Mary was far gone and never to return so you could have James all to yourself. Trying to push intrusive thoughts aside and gently stepped back some to look up at James. “It’s hard to refuse that offer. Maybe the tour can wait just a few more minutes.” He let you hold onto him and brought you back closer so your head was resting against his chest. “About earlier..” he murmured awkwardly. You quickly stopped him with a soft “shush. Don’t mention it.” And relieve to hear him stay quiet. Not that you didn’t want him to talk, you were just glad he didn’t start over thinking and speaking before putting any thoughts to his words. </p><p>The two of you stayed like that for a few more moments before you slowly pulled away some again. “Park tour. Then I promise to give you all the attention you can handle once we rest up at my apartment.” You told James as he was already showing signs of wanting to head back now instead of doing any actual work of finding his wife. “M’kay.” He took a deep breath and stretched his arms out and over his head before nodding his head ‘yes’. .</p><p>“Now my good Sir I shall guide you through the lovely park.” You grinned and grabbed the front of his jacket, leaning forward and giving him a quick kiss on the lips. “Heh, c’mon.”</p>
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